Leading by Example:

How to Instill the Values We Want in Our Children

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لِمَ تَقُولُونَ مَا لَا تَفْعَلُونَ

{O believers! Why do you say what you do not do?}

Surah Saff verse 2

As parents and role models, it is crucial that we lead by example and avoid the "Do as I say, not as I do" mentality. We all want the best for our children and students, and we want them to surpass us in every way possible. However, to achieve this, we must show them the way by modeling the type of behavior we would like them to adopt.

It is natural for children to follow in the footsteps of their parents, including their career choices and priorities. The same holds true for their religious beliefs. If we desire our children to be the flag bearers of Islam in the future, we must ensure that we ourselves are carrying that flag today. Our children observe our actions and internalize the importance of the values we demonstrate.

If we are complacent or dismissive of our faith, we cannot expect our children to take it seriously. Children absorb whatever they observe their parents doing, and this shapes their priorities and values as they grow older. Therefore, if we want our children to prioritize prayer, we must demonstrate the same behavior by praying regularly and expressing remorse if we miss or delay a prayer.

Similarly, if we want our children to take the Quran seriously, we must do so ourselves. We should read the Quran on a regular basis, seek to understand its meaning, and set goals for our own memorization. If we struggle to prioritize the Quran in our lives, we can adopt the "fake it till you make it" approach, whereby we tell ourselves that we take the Quran seriously, even if we don't genuinely feel it. With time and sincere dua to Allah, we will develop a genuine connection to the Quran.

To conclude, as parents, teachers, and role models, we must demonstrate the importance of the Quran ourselves if we hope to instill this value in our children and students. We must read, memorize, and study its meaning, while also encouraging them to do the same. Our actions speak louder than our words, and by leading by example, we can help our children become the best versions of themselves.